Worst day of my life

Today was most definitely the worst day of my life. I’ve decided to not use my weblog for personal matters, but this is an exception. Partly because I’ve talked on Twitter and MSN with a lot of folks about the pregnancy lately and partly because I need to spill my guts out on what happened. And maybe keep this for personal records so I can look up what happened in the future.

Last week, on Tuesday, my wife was taken to the hospital because of some stuff that doesn’t need to be mentioned here. It was because of high blood pressure. They kept her from Tuesday until Thursday and monitored her occasionally if everything was alright again. The send her home with an appointment for Monday morning to recheck if everything was alright.

This night, from Sunday to Monday, my wife felt a little pressure on her chest. We went to bed and a little later, around 12:00am she woke up because of the pain in her chest. She was really, really worried and told me I had to call the hospital. She had trouble breathing also. The hospital confirmed we should come.

So some time before 01:00am we arrived at the hospital and things started getting worse very rapidly. See hard major pain in the chest, constant pressure and had a hard time breathing. At some point the nurses were away, organizing stuff and I had the idea she fainted repeatedly. So I went to search for a nurse and a few minutes later four nurses gathered around my wife.

They then transported her to the delivery room because they have equipment there to monitor her and the baby. They gave her an intravenous for her high blood pressure. But the pain and breathing problems got worse and worse. They gave her an injection for the pain at around 02:00am for the pain, which seemed to really start kicking in around 02:30am. But instead of just removing the pain, it looked like she was seriously drugged. She spoke everything double (doublespeak) and didn’t respond very well to inquiries from either me nor the nurses.

At around 06:00am or so she had slept for almost the entire time. Occasionally she puked and spoke with doublespeak but almost immediately fell asleep afterwards. But at this time, the heartbeat of the baby started to faint. So the gynecologist was called and he arrived 15 minutes later or so. He felt the baby was asleep because of the drugs (the injection for the pain) and tried to wake it up. The heartbeat rose again, but he decided ten minutes later they’d do a Caesarean section after all.

They prepared her, moved her away to surgery and I had to put on some clothes so I could be with her. When I came in, no communication was possible with my wife at all. The baby was delivered and while I was with the baby, someone came in mentioning they noticed something and would put her to sleep. Also because she might choke in her own vomit if so would throw up again.

I went with the baby to the maternity ward where after a short time, the doctor came in mentioning my wife was put to sleep because she had a Intracranial hemorrhage.

I can tell you, my life came almost to a full stop at that moment.

I was later informed that she had two major intracranial hemorrhages and they needed to transfer her to Erasmus MC, a specialized hospital in Rotterdam. Multiple doctors went with the ambulance and the ambulance itself got police support to get there as quick as possible.

I’m now at home, ready to see my other three children who are at my brother-in-law. I went to Erasmus MC myself to check on my wife. She was in a three hour surgery where they removed a part of her skull and fixed one intracranial hemorrhage. The other was too deep into her brain to reach. The operation was successful, if you can call it that.

I’m going to the hospital tomorrow to check on my wife. She’s kept asleep right now with medication. They’ll stop the medication tomorrow and then we’ll have to wait and see if she’ll ever gain consciousness again. And if she does, in what state that will be.

Still in the first hospital is my new born daughter Marith, who might never know her mother. I’m seriously constantly praying if she will be alright, as He is the only one who can help her now.

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52 Responses

  1. Absolutely awful, on something that should have been a happy occasion. I hope your wife will be conscious soon to see her new daughter.

    Best of luck to you all.

  2. Frans Bouma says:

    Veel sterkte. 🙁 Hopelijk wordt je vrouw morgen wakker en heeft het geen blijvende schade…

  3. Joost van Schaik says:

    Dennis, I am not easily moved but right now I am trying to keep my shaking hands steady while typing this. This indeed qualifies as the worst day of any life. Words fail me. There is only hope left. I’ll just keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best. All the best wishes, luck, hopehat strenght and faith to you and yours. Hang in there.

  4. Venkat says:

    I will be praying for your wifes recovery.Be Strong.

  5. Carlo Poli says:

    Dennis, wat een ongelooflijk schokkende ervaring. Woorden schieten te kort. Ik wens jou en je gezin alle sterkte toe en ik hoop dat jullie er zo goed mogelijk uit komen.

  6. After not hearing either way from you after the early morning tweets, during the day I slowly started fearing the worst (as is the expression). However I now learn that my worst was nowhere bad enough… I don’t know what else to add, except wishing you and your whole family all the best and the strength to endure this ordeal. May everything turn out to be alright in the end!

  7. Dennis Vroegop says:

    Wat kan ik zeggen? Sterkte! Ik hoop zo ontzettend voor je dat het allemaal goed komt.

  8. Robb Schiefer says:

    I just read your blog post and will be praying for you and your family. My sister (23) died suddenly in a car accident 2 weeks ago and I know prayer works. Even in our worst fears He is still faithful and will be glorified. I pray your wife makes a miraculous recovery and she and the baby are home soon.

  9. Dennis man, wat een verschrikkelijk verhaal. Het heeft mij echt geraakt, en dat gebeurt niet zo snel. Laten we hopen dat ze morgen zonder blijvende problemen wakker wordt. Sterkte de komende tijd.

  10. Gerard Verbrugge says:

    Dennis ik wens je veel sterkte en met alle andere hoop ik met je mee.

  11. Wouter Scherphof says:

    Wat een ellende man. Alle sterkte van de wereld!

  12. Freek leemhuis says:

    My thougts are witheet you and your family. Hoping for the best!

  13. Matthijs says:

    Heel veel sterkte Dennis

  14. Jan Schreuder says:

    Dennis, wat moet je zeggen in deze situatie. Ik hoop met alle anderen hier dat het alles goed komt. Heel veel sterkte in deze zware periode.

  15. Marcel Meijer says:

    Veel veel sterkte Dennis! I am speechless.

  16. baris acar says:

    I dont know you. But that does not change anything. I understand you and hope all your family goes thru this together and safely. God bless you all.

  17. My prayers are with you.

  18. Timmy Kokke says:

    Verschrikkelijk! Heel veel sterkt!

  19. Rick van der Arend says:

    Wat verschrikkelijk! En zo snel en onverwacht.. Ik hoop echt heel erg voor jou en je kinderen dat dit nog enigszins goed afloopt. Heel veel sterkte!

  20. Rory Becker says:

    Words simply cannot express the empathy I’m feeling for you right now. I have never had to deal with such a situation. Hopefully I never will. In the meantime Dennis, I can only wish good things for you and your family. Try to stay positive, hard though it may be.

  21. Dennis, wat een verschrikkelijk nieuws!
    Ik wens je veel sterkte en kracht de komende tijd… hopelijk wordt je vrouw snel wakker en komt het goed.
    Nogmaals heel veel sterkte!

  22. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like for you. Sorry to hear, truly hope things improve. I know I have neglected those close to me for work, and your experience just shows how wrong that was. Metta to you, Dennis.

  23. dhessing says:

    Hoi Dennis, Wat een nachtmerrie. Ik hoop dat er snel goed nieuws komt!

    Heel veel sterkte!

  24. Rob Hofker says:


    Ik kan alleen maar mijn hoop en wensen toevoegen aan alle andere.

    Heel veel sterkte!

  25. Mendelt Siebenga says:

    Wat verschikkelijk om te horen. Ik hoop dat het een klein beetje helpt dat er zo veel mensen met je mee hopen dat alles goed komt. Heel veel sterkte toegewenst.

  26. Jef Claes says:

    Sterkte. Ik hoop dat alles op z’n plooien valt!

  27. André Boonzaaijer says:

    Verschrikkelijk dat jullie dit moeten doormaken. Dennis, heel veel sterkte toegewenst.

  28. Prayers from us..

  29. Piet Amersfoort says:

    Heel veel sterkte.

  30. I hope all goes well. Good luck and hang in there!

  31. Damn Dennis, Ik dacht nog even de Tweets door te skimmen, kom ik jouw verhaal tegen… sprakeloos…. Heel veel sterkte toegewenst 🙁

  32. **** man..

    Really sorry to hear this. :/ Just like Maarten I was skimming through my tweets when I read this.

    I hope she’ll make a good recovery so you both can enjoy your baby girl together..

    How are your kids taking it? I guess you’ve had to tell them by now?

    Best of luck man.. wish there was something I could do..

  33. Adymitruk says:

    My prayers go out to you.

  34. Edward van Steenderen says:

    Hi Dennis..

    What a terrible thing to happen. I can tell you that even for an outsider this is hard to comprehend.
    It’s a good thing that you were able to be at the hospital so quickly. Seeing you need to arrange something so quick for your kids.

    I’m hoping things are starting to turn around and your wife can recover well from this. And that Marith makes a healty start in life.

  35. Jean-Paul Smit says:

    Wat een vreselijke situatie, woorden schieten te kort. Het is niet voor te stellen hoe je je nu moet voelen, met een pas geborene die de basis van meer geluk zou moeten zijn.
    Ik wens je alle sterkte en wens dat je vrouw haar ogen open doet om jullie dochter te kunnen bewonderen.

  36. Paul Gielens says:

    Dennis, vreselijk niet te bevatten. Mijn gedachten gaan uit naar jullie.

    Sterkte en veel kracht voor de komende dagen. Samen met jullie hopende dat ze hier goed uitkomt en snel aansterkt.

  37. Dror Helper says:


    My heart is with you and your wife and I hope for her speed recovery.

    I wish there was something more I could do to help, I’ll pray for her health.

  38. Leo Moore says:

    Dennis, I am very sorry for you and your family. I know it must be very hard on all of you at the moment. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  39. RudolfGutlich says:

    Dennis, right after I sent you a message in another post then I stopped here, and I am very moved by your wife´s situation.
    I am a brazilian man but my father was born in Rotterdam, so I have much of a dutch in my heart.
    I am praying for your wife, and also for you and your children. May God bless you all!
    Hope to hear soon from you, with very good news!

  40. How is she doing now?

  41. From what I gathered from Dennis’ posts on Twitter she’s conscious again and making some progress, but not really aware of her condition.
    Those who want to stay up-to-date might do best to follow his posts on Twitter at: http://twitter.com/dvdstelt/

  42. Avi Kaye says:

    Came back from a long stint away from the internet to read this. Me and my family really hope everything will turn out OK – be strong.

  43. Hassan Fadili says:

    Dennis, man! De woorden schieten me tekort, toch heel veel sterkte. Ik hoop dat alles snel goed komt met je vrouw. Nogmaals veel sterkte toegewenst. Ik kan alleen maar bidden voor jullie.

    Hou je sterk, zowel je vrouw als je kinderen hebben je nodig! Daar doe je alles voor Ok!

  44. Deyan Petrov says:

    I wish your wife a quick recovery!

  45. Akash says:

    I will pray for your wife ..

  46. Sree says:

    May ur wife come back soon with a smile:-) Prayers for ur family.How is she now?

  47. Simon G. says:

    How are your wife and family? We are with you and your family!

  48. Felipe de Jesús Meléndez Valencia says:

    What I can say?. I really do not know. These things happen, but what you do not understand is why do you happen to good people.

    I honestly do not know you or you or your family. But really this is something you do not wish on anyone.

    Personally, I appreciate your hospitality when I’ve done a query. I really am not Catholic, but I know it’s good to never lose faith.

    I sincerely hope that your wife a speedy recovery so you can return to being the family previously, and congratulations on the birth of your daughter.

    Do not give up, however difficult this may seem, she needs your love.

  49. fabulous says:

    I’ve only just read this and my prayers are with your family. How is your wife now?

  50. Mischa Kroon says:

    Heel veel sterkte, ik hoop dat alles goed komt.

  51. Jerry says:

    May God Bless you dennis.. Will keep you in my
    prayers. Don’t lose your faith.

  1. July 7, 2020

    […] been six weeks since my last blogpost. And although people could’ve kept up with the current situation via my Twitter account, I’ve […]

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